Monday, April 23, 2012

Remembering Father

BEADS OF JOY 4-23-12 “Remembering Father”
©2012 James Dacey, Jr. OFS

"Remembering Father Mullally"

My friends…
This morning blog is all about me missing Fr Mullally. I am so sorry, but I really miss him. I understand our faith very clearly, I understand where he is, and I understand that one day I will see him again. I honestly understand all that; I just really miss him. To me it's like losing a parent, or a sibling, or thee absolute best friend you have ever had in the entire whole world, in your entire life... He was actually that best friend and that brother (a brother I never had) and that loving guiding parent in my life. My parents are wonderful and I love them, but they just didn’t fulfill the spiritual heart inside me, with the kind of guiding, loving parental leadership that Father had.

I realize I do reflect back a lot, I go through these patches of really missing Father and I don’t know what to do except express them. I’d like to start by saying that I have 5 (Spiritual Super Hero’s) in my life. And I realize that might sound corny, but it’s true. I did an audio reflection all about it, I need post that. Anyhow, these men of God have been mentors like no others in my life. I turn to them for direction, leadership, guidance, and so much more. In turn they have told me that they to gain from my input, so that we both were able to move forward in our spiritual life by our friendships. These men are as follows and in this particular order on purpose…


#1. Fr Gerald Mullally (20+ years) what can I say that I haven’t already; and that I will continue to say…

#2. Jack McElligott (18-20 years) a very dear friend, he to, has gone to be with the Lord. I miss you Jack. Jack was a man who I spoke to, online, on the phone, and in person. One day, a few months before he passed away two years ago, (when Chrissy first got diagnosed with cancer) he said to me while hanging out in my yard, “You know Jim, I get it, and I think I really understand you now. No matter how much stress you are under, no matter how many horrible things get thrown at you, you stay upbeat and happy and joyful all the time… It’s the depths of your faith, isn’t it?” I said, “Of cause it is, it always has been.” He just smiled at me and said, “You have a wonderful gift, the gift of Joy in your heart, I am so happy for you Jim.” That was one of our last few conversations we had.

#3. Jerry Kelly (29 years) The Leader of Our Lady’s Pathways prayer group. A dear close friend, he was there from the beginning, when I first gave my life to Jesus. Jerry is a true man of honor and a true man of God; his private words to me, always touched the prayers I privately pray. God spoke through him many times to me…

#4. Fr Peter Calabrese (10 years) He is the Associate Director of Our Lady of Fatima Shrine in Lewiston, NY. He is busier these days, compared to the days when I use to hang out with him. He is living the life I would have loved to live if I were to be a priest (which I did at one point). Fr Peter was also my Spiritual Director for a little while, when we lived up in Niagara Falls. He is a man of some incredible insightful wisdom. His bible studies where out of this world.

#5 Al Picogna OFS (8+ years) He is my Franciscan brother / father / dear friend. He and I talk most days. He pointed out after Fr Mullally’s passing that he understands the depths of my sorrow. He said to me, “Jim, you talked about whatever was going on with you and Father, every single day we ever talked.” I was like, “I did??” Al’s insights and deeply rooted faith based life are a true inspiration. He is a remarkable friend, a true man of honor and dad to his daughters and their families and wonderful attentive grandfather.

I never realized how much I spoke about Father, till others have stepped forward and told me. He and I use to talk through many many nights, even directly before Mass. I can’t tell you how many times Chrissy would roll over to me; because I was at my desk in our bedroom, and she’d say, “Who have you been talking to all this time?” or “…all through the night?” I’d be like, “Father of cause...” She knew who I was talking about, nothing else needed to be said. It was just a regular event between Father and me.

Some Other Pondering Thought: When someone we love passes away, are they able to hear us; when we believe we are speaking to them alone? Our longing, our sadness, and our ongoing desire for connection with that person, pour through your words, and our thoughts of that them. How are you handling Fr. Mullally’s passing? Some of you might think, hey its 4 months ago, are you ok? I say, yes I am. I guess my love for him and my dependence upon his absolute loyal, loving friendship… miss him the most. He honestly has been the closest person to me in my life, aside from Chrissy. He and I have had some really wonderful, in-depth conversations over these past two decades. I’m talking beyond confession; our lives were an open book to one another. He made me always feel like it was important to him that I knew the real man behind the altar. I feel very blessed to have known him so well; and of cause no one knew me like he did. No stone was ever missed; no stone was ever left unturned. I trusted my life with him.

Your brother in Christ Jesus & His Most Blessed Mother,
Jim (The Rosary Man) Dacey Jr OFS