"Beads of Joy" by RosaryManJim: Become One Flesh

BEADS OF JOY 08-17-18

“Become One Flesh”

My Friends,

Chrissy and I got married May 2, 1987 (our church wedding)
This is in the chapel at Our Mother's Consolation Convent.

Today’s Gospel:
Matthew 19:3-12 (God Has Joined Together)“And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?" He answered, "Have you not read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, `For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So, they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder." They said to him, "Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?" He said to them, "For your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery." The disciples said to him, "If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is not expedient to marry." But he said to them, "Not all men can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to receive this, let him receive it."

Reflection: Always a tough topic to discuss in today’s time, without a doubt. So, I am not going to write any sort of reflection of judgement using scripture, I have no right to. Instead I will reflect upon my own challenges and my own life. Some of you know me, some of you don’t. LOL! I laugh because that can be good and that can be bad. But in the same token it really doesn’t matter; because this is my story and with saying all that I can’t be placed in judgement. Everyone’s story is “their own” story. Their Life’s Reflection. Here’s my simple reflection of 30 years…

Back on October 24, 1986 Chrissy and I eloped… Oh Yes, we did. Then we raced out to Atlantic City, NJ for our long weekend get-away. Oh well, so much for a fancy honeymoon. But that’s ok, we weren’t into that kind of glamour stuff anyway. We are simple kind of “county folks” even though we were born and raised in NYC. Go figure! Any-hoot!

A rare picture I usually never post.

We did eventually have our “Church” wedding on May 2, 1987. Chrissy had to become a Catholic, she was Episcopalian; Mother Eugenia gave Chrissy personal RCIA lessons at Our Mother’s Consolation Convent. So, on Easter Morning Sunrise Mass 1987, Chrissy became a Catholic receiving all her sacraments on the convents grounds. The picture below is at the convent in their chapel where we “retook” our vows so all our friends there could see us, especially those who couldn’t make it to the church.

God Has Joined Together

Thanks For The Memories

In 2013 I got Chrissy – Mr. McRuff

Pondering these thoughts today: Well I guess the big question is: How have you guys survived after 30 years? After 30 years I have come to this conclusion.

My 30 Years of Wisdom:

1. Always seek to be a Peacemaker. Pray together every single day. Let Jesus the be the absolute center of your relationship. And faithfully attend Mass together as a family. Faith, and the sacraments were our priority with our kids, long before they ever received them. We were front row, Mass goers with all our kids and I served on the altar often.

2. Keep Your Spouse as Your Number #1 Top Priority: In all our 30 years, yeah, I got to do many of the things I enjoyed, but in full review, I made sure Chrissy’s requests were always made. She always had a roof over her head in a good neighborhood, food on the table, a reliable car and money in her pocket. Only in the latter years did she want to work. And I supported her decision 100%, encouraging her.

3. Have a $0.00 hobby that consumes you. (writing, art, etc.) – this creates no financial pressure on the family. Chrissy and I both agreed on this approach.

4. Cook and clean at meal time together don’t use a dishwasher (we have a dishwasher, but we don't use it). We really loved working together, cleaning dishes and pans to get our kitchen back together. It was our own little ministry. And it was always so much fun.

5. Food shop together, learn each other’s likes and dislikes. And always look out for each other’s health. Prioritizing their needs before your own.

6. Focus on the kids together making them the priority. We had a large family because we wanted one. Our kids are our wealth, our legacy.

7. Never ever scream or fight EVER. Just to let you know we never yelled or screamed or cursed at each other. NO NOT EVEN ONCE. Nobody ever believed us, just ask the 5 witnesses who lived with us (our kids).

8. Never say something you know you will regret. Love one another like you have just met for the first time. Love and respect always. Always!

9. Take one day at a time in good and bad times. And recognize the difference and thank God together, laugh together, cry together.

10. And most of all Have Fun, Lots of Fun: This is so important, don’t let your relationship go stale and boring. Laugh and giggle and tickle and cuddle, watch movies together, lunch together. Together keep the relationship alive and delightful. It’ll be well worth it, you’ll see.

11. One more thing, if your spouse gets ill take care of them, even if it kills you: This is critical and real, if you can’t do this, something is wrong. I would have died for Christine in a heart-beat. I begged and begged and begged our Lord so many times in tears, screaming, to take me instead. My words used to be, “If there must be a sacrifice let it be me!” I cried so much in private.

12.To be continued... there is more

LOVE YOU GUYS !!!!

Your brother in Christ Jesus
And His Most Blessed Mother,
Jim (The Rosary Man) Dacey Jr OFS

Today is Friday: We pray the Sorrowful Mysteries:

The Sorrowful Mysteries

1^.Agony on the Garden (Sorrow for sin) –Matt 26:36-46
2^.Scourging at the Pillar (Purity) –Mark 15:1-16
3^.Crowning with Thorns (Moral Courage) –Matt 27:27-31
4^.Carrying of the Cross (Patience) –Mark 15:20-22
5^.The Crucifixion (Perseverance) –Luke 23:33-46

Thank you Lord for loving us so much…