Beads of Joy 06-14-10
The Joyful - Our Daily Walk
©2010 James Dacey, Jr. SFO
Joyful Walk - 1/5
Today I wish to begin a new journey with all of you. One that may ministry to you as well as it will minister to me. Each day this week I will reflect on each one of the Joyful Mysteries. Today we begin with The Annunciation. I want us to look at the day to day aspects of the mysteries, in other words how did they personally affect the people experiencing them? The Annunciation did indeed cause our Blessed Mother to be humble and she willfully accepted God's will, there is no doubt that that is true. But let's reflect on that fact that at Mary's time, this was bad news, for the times. Please understand that I know it was nothing but good news, but of cause we have the ability of having the whole picture put before us. We know the what, the why, the ending, we know all that. Mary didn't, her trust and humility before God was incredible. Her faith is not like our faith. She was rooted in the old testament but had no clue she'd be the reason for the new testament. For a woman of her time who was unmarried to be pregnant, that was a disgrace and she could have been stoned to death. So seriously for the "time" of the this mystery, this was indeed bad news. But regardless of the scary news, Mary forged forward.
How could Mary's example help us confront "bad news"? Can we just do God's will? Are you able to truly pick up your cross and carry it, PERIOD? I will tell you that now, I can share so much more about what we as a family are going through and how horrible bad news affects us. First of all think about it, how ever do you prepare for this? How do you have your heart and head in the right place as the news is put before you. Unlike many choices we have in our lives, with illnesses we have no control of them; and once they take up residence in our bodies, there's no escaping or denying them anymore. We are only left with embracing them and dealing with them. I will say the initial shock, the initial news of a spot found on Chrissy lung; I immediately dismissed any fears of it being serious. It's never "us", it's always someone else, someone we know, someone we know who knows someone; but it certainly not us. Well that confident denial was dissolved the day she began coughing up blood. I have to tell you, she called me over crying and I had no idea why. I came over to see why, and she said, "I'm coughing up blood." I confess now before you, my heart felt like it came out of my throat and my blood was drained. This was bad. I am not well versed with anything medical, but I know from TV shows and movies (not the best to rely on I know) and I had some general common sense growing up; that coughing up blood is a symptom of something far worse.
You know it seemed that people who cough up blood in movies and tv shows always were the people who inevitably died from some internal catastrophic problem. I admit I was immediately almost instantaneously scared for her, our kids, our family. Like Mary, this was to be and still is an unknown territory for us. A road we must travel, and trust in God. We must trust in His will for her life, our lives and all those around us. Tears are not going to go away throughout this, I am all teared up writing this. Tears are not a sign of weakness, or a sign of not trusting. Tears rather show a sign of love, concern, and they are an out right cleansing we so need as we struggle understanding what is happening. I want God to reconsider this: I beg before you Lord to put this pain and suffering on me, and take it away from Chrissy. I pray that I am the sacrifice You are seeking. Please Lord, take my life as a sacrifice in place of Chrissy's. Please allow her to enjoy our children, and all the joy they give us. And this beautiful world you have given us to dwell in, and the joys that are to come in the future: weddings, grand-kids, walks, fresh air. My God there are so many wonderful things we take for gratitude in this life. Please God, consider my offer. Take me instead, give me ALL of her suffering, all of her pain. I offer it all up praising You Lord.
So today I ask you, to do like Jesus would expect us to. Embrace that cross. I know there are going to be tears, I know this only too well now. I know you might not want it, or you might hope God would take it from you. But like Jesus who wanted His very own cross removed, He to accepted rather God's will than even His own. Be bold, take a step forward, rather than backwards. If God wants to give you a huge cross, one that is so heavy and so painful that it makes you cry; well then do it out of love for God and trust in Him and forge forward. I admit my weaknesses before you. This level of media on the world wide web allows me (and you) to not only shed our tears before the world, but also we shed our armor. I never claimed to be bulletproof. I never think of myself as holy. I never see anyone in me, more than the man God has made me to be. I am a wretched sinner, unworthy of anything special God wants to give me. And you say, "What is it then, that you see yourself as before God?" I say,"A child of God, who will love Him, serve Him and Honor Him all the days of my life". And Yes, I thank God for this cross He has given me. Do I fully understand it? NO. Do I see the silver lining and know what and where the joy is in this? NO. But I will say that I do trust Him, His plans, and His will, and they far exceed anything I can think about; and besides He knows what all of us need, better than we ever could know.
Your brother in Christ Jesus & His Most Blessed Mother,
Jim (The Rosary Man) Dacey Jr SFO