Monday, August 30, 2010

Letter To My Children

Beads of Joy 08-30-10

Letter To My Children
©2010 James Dacey, Jr. SFO

Hello Everyone,

A rather unique title and a rather interesting thought. Today I write a letter to my kids, passing on thoughts that maybe they have already thought about. This blog got sparked by a comment I am well aware of in my life in particular. Though I believe many of you may also experienced such a concern, by words of others spoken to my children. It's been said, "Don't turn out like your dad." Yes a rather hurtful, heartless, very unwise, disturbing thing to know has been said to my kids. Let's be honest, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but saying that is so out of line, words can't even express how rude and even mean that was to do. Mom's this can have easily been said about you to your kids. Ok, on a quick glance at me, maybe I don't have the biggest most expensive house to live in, or the newest most expensive cars to drive in. And yes maybe we don't take two or three or more vacations a year. I can go on and on, but why. The point here is, by this person making this comment, they have judge my "performance" by the decimal point and comma's. I feel sad for that person and I do pray for them even more now. For what matters in this life? All that I obtained for my kids? Or even better off: What is it I have truly given my kids?

My Dear Children,

It's just me, your dad. I know when you were growing up we faced many challenges and we weren't always able to do and have many of the things other kids may have had. My objectives and goals in this life have been really focused around my Lord, your mom and you guys. So with that being said, know that giving you the richest (not money) life, jammed pack full of love, respect, appreciation and a true sense of knowledge about what this life is really all about. I am not a saint, by no stretch of the imagination my dear children, I sin and screw up on all levels and in all situations. But in the end of all that, I pray that it wasn't my words or my wallet that gave you something to grab onto; but rather follow me in my life as an example. Sometimes people can be very hurtful and I do know how some of you feel by the words you have heard. I for starters ask you to forgive that person, I have. No anger of hatred has ever solved anything, and no anger or hatred has ever made anyone more loving and joyful either. So my children as a first step let us turn the other cheek and not be tarnished by them. If they have asked for forgiveness from God, then He has forgiven them. Now it's our time, let us do the same.

I'd like to take a moment and reflect on some of the things I pray about that in your life you have gained by observing mine while you were growing up. Just remember no dad is perfect, no mom knows everything (ok, scratch that last thought). Kids just remember, you know what was important to you growing up, and so did I. For starters, I pray that my example of being a dad who stuck around; and didn't just take off from the family, when me and your mom have challenges and major disagreements. There are many a families out there where dads are gone. I have done everything possible to never let that happen. I see that as a very important example to you guys, especially to my four sons, who one day just might be a dad, be serious in this commitment, it's not a hobby. Another very special example I pray that you see day in and day out, is the love I give your mom. You kids know what the outside world don't always know or see. Me and your mom disagree on many things, we argue sometimes about the most pointless issues and at times live very separate lives on completely opposite schedules. You see we even have times of silence. But you also see, that I don't take anything seriously and I refuse to grow up. Ok, maybe that explains me and your moms friction, hmm?? No matter, I haven't changed in 45 years, still as comical and as immature as ever.

Some other key things, I pray that my example does all the talking for you to see. As a family we always have fun together, playing games, that is video and board games, etc. We also spend time watching movies together from time to time. You guys tend to like blood and gore, and I don't. Best of all when we do eat together, we pray, we talk, we laugh and we really get to deepen our relationship with each other. A very special moment I cherish. Is my work ethic good? You guys all know I bust my tail off everyday doing all I can to provide for our family the best one I can provide for. And here are a few questions that I submit to you, my thoughts and prayers are that all the answers are yes.
-Do I genuinely listen to your problems and challenges?
-Have I taught you the true value of giving from your means not your extra?
-Am I compassionate when you screw up with choices and even words?
-Is my love tough at times, but you appreciate the true love in that authority?
-Have you learned to take responsibility for your actions, by my example?
-Have I shared Jesus and Our Blessed enough, so you love them also?

My sons and my daughter (my Pickles), please know that I love you with all my heart. All I have ever wanted for you was to have a wonderful childhood with fun, interesting, challenging moments; with a foundation of unconditional love that stays forever ingrained in your heart. Jesus first, then others, worry about yourself only when you know you can. If there are four words I pray that you pray everyday as you to journey through life, it's these, "Jesus, I trust in You."

With Love,
Dad xoxo

Your brother in Christ Jesus & His Most Blessed Mother,
Jim (The Rosary Man) Dacey Jr SFO