Saturday, May 29, 2010

Chrissy Dacey (my wife)

Beads of Joy 05-29-10
Dedication Days - Christine Dacey (my wife)

©2010 James Dacey, Jr. SFO

Dedication Days
Hello Everyone,

For starters I will let everyone know that I will be blunt and maybe way too honest; but with that said, know that this is indeed a real dedication to the woman I love. A very worthy one I must say. To start with I'd like to apologize for the dedications I have been reusing over and over, all these years, and never updating them like I should have. 

So with that very blunt start, very sincerely truthful intro, let me first tell you how I first met Christine Lee Mersereau. Chrissy and I both worked at our local hardware store (Pergaments). She worked the return desk and I was a security guard (goofy hey). LOL. Anyhow, the minute I saw her for the very first time ever... (no lie), I saw her in them tight blue jeans on her little body, and I said to myself, "Jimmy, there's your wife, the future Mrs James Dacey Jr." Crazy I know, but it's so true. No it wasn't only her jeans, LOL !! Mind you I was engaged to someone else and I didn't even know her name or her relationship situation. But, I come to find out she was extremely independent and successful in her own right. I liked that strong nature I immediately sensed. So we had a couple of lunches together. Then one afternoon I took her to The Dove (local hot-spot diner). I drove my car doing probably about 80 mph down Richmond Avenue. I was crazy back then, she said, "I am never getting into a car with you again." We'll see about that. LOL.. yeah right...

Well after a couple of weeks of that, I was driving down a street, very local to my home (8 blocks to be exact), and I saw Chrissy's car in my long time friends (Robin) driveway. I thought to myself, this is super cool, I have an excuse to go say Hi to Robin, and I'll see Chrissy, they must be friends. I wanted her, guess that was obvious. So I made my way to the door, and there's Chrissy's car in the driveway (this is so cool). Well I come to find out my dear friend Robin, has a sister, well she has two, but her little sister is Chrissy. WOW. small world. Anyhow that opened an easy door to sit out on the porch and chat with her for hours, and then ask her out officially. And we did go out on our first date. And in three months, I got her pregnant and we eloped. WOW. But on a very sad note, we lost our very first child, due to a miscarriage. We were crushed, I mean completely crushed. Even though we didn't "plan" to have a baby, once we knew, we started planning our lives around that little child. That's why Chrissy and I many years back made that memorial I posted on Myspace and Facebook for "Cory" a name that can be used for boys and girls. The doctor said he didn't know the sex. I find that hard to believe, but that's what he said. So we chose a name that would work out fine either way. To this day I still think of that little baby. And all our kids know they have an older sibling in Heaven.

So you are all starting to get a peak into my crazy world of jeans, blonde's, kids and fast cars. LOL. What can you expect I was in business with my dad for almost twenty years, we owned a collision repair shop, so cars were our business. LOL. It was the only Auto Repair shop that I know of, that had Rosaries everywhere, and a Rosary production area in my office on the second floor, where I did a lot of the rosary making and packing and shipping from. It was Chrissy and my mom who introduced Rosary Making to me in 1989. 

Chrissy and I were involved with every prayer group on Staten Island back then. I knew everybody. I was sharing the Rosary everywhere, but not like I do now, it was more primitive back then. Chrissy wanted to become a Roman Catholic. She was Episcopalian. She converted with the help of Mother Eugenia at the convent where we eventually had our wedding party and we renewed our vows in the convent chapel, the same day we got married. Throughout Chrissy's training Mother Eugenia told me and her that we had to live like brother and sister till we were married before our Lord. We did, but it sure wasn't easy seeing them jeans walk by. LOL, you can laugh.

We ended up having a really nice church wedding at Holy Child. Followed by a real country wedding banquet, no smoking, no alcohol and all the family and friends kids were welcome. Rather unique wouldn't you say, but we loved it and that's what we wanted. So then our lives continued we obviously did develop the reputation of being a baby factory. After a while no one was shocked to hear Chrissy was pregnant again. So here we are 24 years later, 5 kids later, countless good times and challenging times, our plate is still full, we have been through so much I can't believe it. But I guess now looking back I can see our Lord has His hand in our marriage the entire time. And now with our most current challenges, He had to help us make it through all those prior ones, so we'd have the strength to get through this most serious one. There is much wisdom in what has happened here. To this day when people ask how long have we been married, we still get an eyebrow raised when we say 24 years. Not to common in today's time. She is a good, wonderful, God fearing woman no doubt, putting up with me all these years. Her heart is in the right place all of the time. Yea at times she rolls her eyes at me, I admit it, I drive her crazy, but she always loves me. But I got to tell you she is just like her mom in many ways: Always giving, unselfish never ever selfish about anything, caring for everyone else and she always puts others before herself always. That's the "heart" in my sweetheart.

But she does deserve this dedication and more. She has done a phenomenal job raising our 5 kids. Yes I have been here, but honestly who really spends time pouring their hearts into their kids lives? Mommy !!! And our kids adore her like crazy with so much love. This whole situation with her health (cancer!!??), the commitment to getting her better, the love one is to invest in it; it's all brought to life when it's this real in your life and in your marriage. I hope all this dedication is making sense; I never wrote about someone so special like this before who was under going such a battle as I write about my Chrissy. I feel like I may have fumbled with my words, or my focus. Chrissy is my wife, my best friend, my lover for the past 24 years (eloped Oct 24, 1986). We have had some seriously hard times in the past. But now looking back and looking ahead; the road behind us was easy even when it was hard. The road ahead is going to be very very difficult. But with such wonderful friends and a merciful God carrying me, I can carry Christine through this horrible disease. With your help Lord..

Today I salute you: Chrissy Dacey

Right now I especially pray for your recovery.
You are always in my heart and always in my prayers. And I shall always remain by your side through all whatever is heading your way; you are not alone in this fight.

Your brother in Christ Jesus & His Most Blessed Mother,
Jim (The Rosary Man) Dacey Jr SFO

PS.. If this relationship sounds like a fairy tale to you; well, maybe so from your perspective. But for us, it is as real as real can be. There is no yelling or screaming or judging or anger ever directed at each other from each other -never ever. We only love one another, in all circumstances. Even in the worst of times, we never point a finger and blame, instead we hug and work on a solution of love. Yea, it's pretty amazing.